Have you ever said that to yourself about a habit?
We all have ‘bad’ habits. It’s part of being human. Some habits may not have that much of a negative effect on
our lives. Others are things that
we desperately want to change. I
am not just talking about fitness or nutrition here. We have habits in the way we react within our relationships,
how we spend our money, our driving, and our time management. Changing habits is one of the hardest
things in life. Change is
something that many of us loathe.
It starts when we are babies.
Most advice on parenting talks about establishing routines to make the
child feel comfortable. This
minimizes stress and probably lessens the crying and other disruptions,
especially in toddlers.
I bought into that theory as a new mother. Worked pretty well. However, there are things in my
family’s life that force change on my daughter and I am thankful for that. It is the same lifestyle that I lived
being the child of a military family.
Not a day goes by that I am not thankful for moving around so much,
changing schools, making new friends, etc. I feel that I am a fairly resilient person, better able to
handle major change without completely losing it. That is probably why after about 18 months, I am ready to
move to a new place and have a new job within the military. My daughter is six now and she has
moved twice. She is a typical
child, resistant to change.
However, she is incredibly adaptable to new people, sleeping anywhere,
and going with the flow.
So how does change and resiliency relate to changing
habits? If we aren’t comfortable
with change in a larger sense, we will be resistant to changing small things in
our lives that can lead to greater and greater success and happiness. I am going to tie this back to health
because over the last two years, my personal goal was to change some habits to
become a healthier person. It
hasn’t been easy and there are days that I easily slip back into comfortable
routines. I am reading a personal
development book right now, ‘The Compound Effect’ by Darren Hardy. Last night I read a chapter that talked
about six techniques for installing good habits. I discovered that I have been doing these six things all
along. So I wanted to share them
with all of you.
1. Set Yourself Up to Succeed – Don’t choose a plan of
action that is unrealistic. You
also need to create an environment that won’t tempt you to fall back into the
old routine. An example of this in
my life is limiting certain foods in my house. I discovered that if the ice cream is here, I will eat
it. I won’t eat it in
moderation. I will literally eat
the whole damn thing.
2. Think Addition, Not Subtraction – This one has been the
toughest for me. The idea is that
you don’t want to think about what you can’t have any more. You need to focus on what you can do
instead. The book tells Montel
Williams’ story about a strict diet he maintains to help combat the effects of
multiple sclerosis. His mindset
isn’t that he can’t eat a hamburger or chocolate. He thinks about what he can eat each day – fresh steamed vegetables. He puts all of his energy toward those
positive thoughts. It doesn’t have
to be about food. If you spend too
much time playing Candy Crush and don’t think you would be happy without it,
try replacing it with another hobby.
It could be something like playing board games with your kids or
learning a new skill. Before you
know it, you won’t miss Candy Crush because you are thinking about the
excitement your children have in spending more time with you or now being able
to speak a new language or play an instrument.
3. Public Displays of Accountability – This is probably the
number one thing that helped me, but it might be tied with the next tip. Sharing publicly what your goal is
helps hold you accountable. None
of us like to fail at things and we really hate for others to see us fail. We are more likely to succeed if we
publicly state that we want to lose weight, get promoted, or stop smoking. The vast majority of people in your
life will be your biggest cheerleaders.
That only fuels your desire to keep succeeding and never look back.
4. Find a Success Buddy – Having someone watching out for
you and keeping you accountable is huge.
This is why I love Team Beachbody and why I share their programs and try
to put together Challenge Groups.
One of the core foundations of their programs is being a part of a
team. A group serves as your
success buddy. Every day we check
in with each other. With social
media, this is easy. We don’t have
to live in the same area at all.
Some of my friends get annoyed and probably even block my posts. I don’t share to brag or make anyone
feel bad because they aren’t exercising regularly or eating healthy. I share to encourage because I know
that every single person in the world could benefit from moving more and eating
better. I thought that was a load
of crap for a long time, but once I started, I soon realized that it
wasn’t. So find success buddy,
don’t do it alone!
5. Competition is Camaraderie – Not everyone likes to
compete. I do have that natural instinct,
but I think we all do to some extent.
So find out what makes you tick.
What do you want to beat someone at? I used to hate running. One of the things that finally got me going was to sign up
for a race. I knew I wouldn’t win
anything, but running with a group of people can help push you along when you
want to quit. By doing this for
fun and committing to it by paying for a race, I ran more and more. Eventually I got to a point where I
didn’t hate it, I looked forward to it.
If you aren’t naturally competitive with others, compete with
yourself. Track your progress and
beat your self every day.
6. Celebrate – You can’t work all the time and you must
reward yourself for small victories.
Find little rewards to give yourself monthly, weekly, daily to
acknowledge that you are sticking with a new behavior. Then find a bigger reward for a major
milestone. I know people that have
rewarded themselves with vacations for going a year without smoking. Do you realize how much money we spend
on unhealthy habits, preventing us from enjoying the world? If you smoke just one pack of
cigarettes a week in Texas, you are spending nearly $400/year. That's round-trip airfare to most places in the U.S.
I hope some of these tips can help lead others to positive
change. I’m going to do one last
public display of accountability.
For over 30 years, I have struggled with a bad habit. I bite my nails. Even though I have stopped occasionally,
I always go back to it. At the end
of May, I decided to stop for good.
Initially the only person that really knew I was doing this was my
husband. Now everyone knows and I
can’t go back. I used to say I
couldn’t do this. I was adamant
about it. What changed? I found an emotional reason to
stop. It bothers my husband, but
it’s bothered him for the ten years we have been together and I haven’t
stopped. I have to thank his
deployment to Afghanistan. He was
three weeks out from leaving and I decided I wanted to do something to make him
happy when he gets home. So far,
so good. Here’s my before and
after photos.
End of May
Nails painted for high school reunion
Today (recently trimmed)
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